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I am a writer of dark magical realism. All that is visible but rarely seen, all that is real but seems surreal, all that is dark yet radiates light.

Saturday, November 20, 2010


Awhile back, a friend of mine asked me to evaluate this statement, "You can get anything you want in life, if you will be willing to do what it takes to get it".  At the time, I wasn't getting what I want, and could create a laundry list of perceived failures.  I felt like I had done enough to get what I wanted, and didn't get it, so how could that possibly be true.  But in hindsight, I hadn't really done much to get what I want.  If it couldn't be found on the path of least resistance, the want quickly dissipated and was replaced by a redirect: It just wasn't meant to be.  The want was a construct of my mind, and stayed there with minimal energy exerted to propel it forward, coupled with an even smaller exercise of will.

Upon further reflection, I will give this statement a certified, "Yup".  However with purely focused will, you will not be able to have your cake and eat it too.  Everything has its price, whether through opportunity or actual nominal costs.  There is no such thing as a free lunch.  If you want it, see it and only it, do what it takes, and you will surely get it.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Red Cafe "Money, Money, Money" ft. Diddy & Fabolous **OFFICIAL VIDEO**

Jeremih x 50 Cent - "Down On Me" - 3D Version

I love 50 Cent. There is nothing about that man I don't love. And if you don't love 50, something is wrong with you. How can you not love someone who does want they want to do, and says what they want to say, and for the privilege of being him, makes people pay?

Voodoo Dreaming with Remix aka I love the Guedeh

The nights I spend with Remix, I have the illest dreams.  My mind tends to be both more alert and relaxed, and the time for sleep tends to be short or taken in spurts.  That's the perfect combination for me to achieve lucidity. Nights with him are often spent in that blissful space between reality and infinity.  Last night's dream took place in a cafe.  Remix had a girlfriend that he was living with, and we were secret lovers on a rendezvous.  As we sat at the cafe table, and discussed the moral hazards of our clandestine affair, a deck of tarot cards appeared.  This was no ordinary tarot deck, but an exaggerated and beautifully illustrated version of my beloved "Beyonce", the New Orleans Voodoo Tarot.  I named my tarot cards after the flyest bitch in the world, yup!

In the dream, I told Remix we had to break it off, what we were doing wasn't right.  Not only was it wrong, but fundamentally what was it based on?  He shuffled the deck and showed me two cards.  The images were strong, I leaned in ready to interpret them.  But then in real life Remix shifted, back to reality I drifted, and they were gone.  I only remember one card:

It wasn't exactly like this.  But when I was fully awake and thought about it, this card had the best fit. Man, I wish I knew what that other card was. It's like getting all of the lotto numbers, but forgetting the powerball.

I do need to work on my lucid dreaming. I am going to make a concerted effort to do just that. I feel it is a powerful and useful skill. Even if you remove all of the metaphysical properties, and think of it in psychological terms, it is an interesting way to explore the subconscious mind.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Remix and The Secret

For his birthday, I bought Boo the Remix, "The Secret", the popular new age book that I have never read.  I have thumbed through it in bookstores, glimpsed over it at friend's houses, and though the pages within supposedly hold the secret to obtaining all you want in the universe, I was never interested.  Boo is three quarters of the way through the book and is already a proponent.  He feels with The Secret's teachings, all that he could ever want is his.  I am not convinced.  The whole premise to me sounds like blind optimism.  But since nothing these days is winning, hence, there is nothing to lose, I'll give it a try.  Remove all doubt, express gratitude, visualize and wish, wish, wish.  Again, I haven't read the book, but that seems to be the gist.  As we drove to get some food, the new song by Nicki Minaj, "Right Thru Me" came on.  He felt its appearance on the radio dial proved The Secret's validity as he was just thinking about it.

Aside: I don't agree that song proves anything as the Young Money crew is ubiquitous.  I also hate that song, my tolerance for drama in relationships is zero.  Boo thinks that a little hot grits thrown on him every six months keeps everything spicy.  If I cared, he'd come outside and see his car windows bust.  And to show his love, he says every other month a black eye will keep me in line.  He is kidding, but why do some people think dysfunction is a requisite component in relationships?  Let me utilize the secret: I am grateful for the lack of drama in my relationship with Boo.  I relate to him in clear mind with clear action through clear thought.  He does what I say and I get what I want. I told Boo I was feeling depressed about my book not going anywhere.  He said my depressive thoughts will bring me more depressive thoughts.  He was right: out of the blue I received a rejection letter from an agent I didn't even remember sending a query letter to.  What to do? He told me to be grateful for the rejection letter, as it is just one step closer to landing my dream agent.  Since I have none of my own, I'll borrow some of his good cheer.  We'll share his positivity, as he has plenty to spare.  I love my Boo, to me, he is very dear.  I visualize a day that flows just like today, but with the addition of plenty of money (say it like mon-ay to keep up with the rhyming pattern, okay?).

So here goes The Secret: I am grateful for x,y,z.. now bring me some money!  And to my dream agent: You got my e-mail.  With love and appreciation, I'm waiting, holla at me!